Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
im holly from the hills drunk
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
