He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
