i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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