Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
