The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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