The maid of honor just puked.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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