You smell like stripper and shame
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
