how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
