I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
