There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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