He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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