But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
