Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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