What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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