For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Randomize
