if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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