I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize