You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize