Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
