Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
