All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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