I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
