I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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