her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
