words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
