i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
