I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
