I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
