Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He felt like a one man threesome
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
