The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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