she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
