this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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