sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
