We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
