I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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