I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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