im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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