You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
