my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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