I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
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