well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
you never un-have a 4some
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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