Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
