Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
be right there i have to get my cape
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize