ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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