I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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