it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
