sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
