so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
When are your genitals available?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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