perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
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