Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
