ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
