He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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