Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
