hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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