just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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