Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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