even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
