I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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