Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
