I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
