Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
