i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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