accomplished twins. life is a go
should my penis look like a turkey
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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