I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
